Maybe This Time... Leah's Story (SEEN SERIES)

Leah’s story is one of heartbreak, hope, and redemption. Overlooked and unloved, she longed to be chosen—but God saw her, heard her cries, and wove her into His redemptive plan. If you’ve ever felt forgotten or rejected, this episode will remind you that you are seen, chosen, and deeply loved by God, who invites you to praise Him even in your pain.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Rejection And Divine Choice
• 0:38 Welcome And Episode Setup
• 1:17 Why Leah’s Story Matters
• 2:22 Creative Retelling Begins
• 7:31 Morning After And Fallout
• 11:20 Sons, Names, And Ache For Love
• 14:38 Judah And A Turn To Praise
• 18:21 Scripture Study And Word Meanings
• 20:48 What’s Your “Maybe This Time”?
• 24:33 Praise As A Weapon
• 28:06 Weariness, Jealousy, And Comparison
• 31:36 God Chooses Leah For Messiah’s Line

Transcript

Teresa Whiting: 0:00

God chooses those that the world rejects. The world said, Not you. Jacob said, not you. You're not the one I want. And God said, Oh, you. You're the one I want. You're the one who's going to carry on the line that my son is going to come through. What a beautiful testament to how God takes this world system and turns it on its head. And he says, This is not, this does not define you. You're not defined by the people who reject you. You're defined by me and I accept you. Not only do I accept you, I'm grafting you into my family tree. Hi friend. If you've ever wondered how God's word connects with the messy, broken parts of your story, you're in the right place. Welcome to Beauty and the Brokenness, where we have honest conversations about the Bible, our real life struggles, and the hope God brings for healing. I'm your host, Teresa Whiting, an author, Bible teacher, and trauma-informed life coach, but mostly a friend and fellow struggler. No matter who you are or where you've been, I'm inviting you to encounter the God of rescue, redemption, and restoration. The God who is still creating beauty right in the midst of your brokenness. Hey friends, I'm excited about today's episode because we are going to be talking about one of my favorite women in scripture, and that's Leah. Leah is such a layered character. Every time I study her story, I learn something new about her, and I learn something new about God. Now, I'm not sure how familiar you are with Leah. She is the lost, and I might even say invisible sister in the love story of stunning Rachel and scheming Jacob. And she is easily passed over. She would have been passed over in marriage as well if it hadn't been for her father's trickery. But I love her story because she demonstrates that God chooses those people that the world rejects. She reminds us that God is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. And she encourages us to praise God in the midst of our painful life circumstances. So let's jump into the story about Leah. Now, as usual, I like to share a creative retelling of the story. And just so you know, this is my version of the story. It's what you're going to find in my scene Bible study. This is not the original scripture. To find Leah's story, you want to turn to Genesis 29 and 30 and read that story for yourself. One of the things I love to do is I kind of love to crawl into the skin of these women in scripture and just think maybe this is the way she experienced some of the things in her life. So enjoy this creative retelling of Leah's story. I lie awake, motionless, eyes fixed on Jacob. I silently beg my pounding heart to calm down and try to slow my rapid breathing. He stirs, and I hold my breath. I take in his strong form as a thousand thoughts swirl through my mind. Could he really be mine? He made love to me last night. Did he even realize it was me? He rolls to his side, reaches over, and pulls me close, burying his face in my hair, eyes still closed. This is what I've always hoped for, but never dreamed of a husband to love me. I feel his breath on my neck. I begin to relax and allow myself to drink in this feeling. When he pulls back, his eyes meet mine. Instantly, he recoils, almost convulsing. I see the surprise, then shock, then horror. He backs away from me as if he had just encountered a venomous snake. His eyes go wild and his face reddens. You, he roars. No, no, not you. You're not the one I want. You're not the one I worked all these years for. The one I agreed to marry. He can't get away from me fast enough. Every shred of hope I had for building a life with Jacob dissolves as he flees the tent. The tears flow almost as fast as my racing thoughts. What a fool I was to hope. Jacob never wanted me. No one ever has. It's always been Rachel. Beautiful Rachel. No one has given me so much as a second look. I've lived in my little sister's shadow all my life. At the market, I've heard the whispers. I've watched men trip over themselves to get near her, without even a glance in my direction. Our father Laban fetched a fine bride price for her. Seven years of labor from our cousin Jacob who had come from afar. The moment he arrived in our lives seven years ago, the air seemed electrified. He was strong and handsome, a hard worker, a fighter. We never knew quite why he came to Haran or why he left his family. Jacob doesn't share personal details. I always suspected he was running from something. Maybe we'll never know who or what haunts him. Soon after he arrived, he struck a deal with my father. I'll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter, Rachel. Father, eager for a profitable exchange, heartily agreed. For the past seven years, I've watched Jacob watch Rachel. He has studied her, ached for her, and toiled hard for her. Just a few weeks ago, I was in the tent preparing olives for pressing when he approached our father. Give me my wife, he said. My time is completed and I want to make love to her. He didn't realize I was standing just on the other side of the door and could hear his blunt request. After weeks of preparation, the festivities began. Father gathered everyone from our village for a huge wedding feast. On the last day of the celebration, Jacob and Rachel were to be united. The guests said their goodbyes and went home as darkness descended. Then, under the cover of night, my father came to me. It's time, he said, you'll be the one to marry. Before I knew what was happening, I was being taken to Jacob's tent. His sobriety was questionable, and the night was dark as pitch. My father placed a veil over my face. If you know what's good for you, he whispered, you'll keep your mouth shut and give the man what he wants. I was nearly shoved into the tent with Jacob, and he made love to me. In that moment, I allowed myself to hope Jacob might accept me as his bride. But now in the morning light, every doubt that I could ever be loved is confirmed. I hear Jacob's voice rising outside the tent. Laban, Laban, he shouts, what have you done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn't I? Why have you deceived me? My father, ever the swindler, answers coolly. It's not our custom to marry the younger daughter before the older one. Finish this week with Leah, and then I'll give you Rachel, in exchange for another seven years of work. So that's what this is? I'm a mere commodity used to get seven more years of work out of Jacob? My father doesn't treat me as a daughter but a foreigner, with no thought for what's best for me. Or maybe he thought it was the only way I'd ever get a husband. I will have Jacob to myself for seven days, but it hardly matters. His disgust toward me is palpable. He believes I was complicit in my father's ruse. Shouldn't he know him by now? Soon I'm pregnant with our first child. When I place our baby boy into Jacob's arms, I dare to hope. Maybe Jacob will love me now. I name him Reuben. When Reuben is just a baby, I become pregnant again, but Jacob's hatred for me has not waned. He allows me to sleep with him, hoping only for more sons to carry his name. But there's no intimacy, no affection, no love. All of that is reserved for Rachel. I name the child Simeon because the Lord has heard that I'm hated. I give birth to another boy and call him Levi. Surely, after bearing him three sons, Jacob will become attached to me. And yet the ache in my heart remains. I have not managed to win Jacob's affection. I'm so tired. I've given myself over to hope again and again. Maybe this time Jacob will care for me. Maybe now he'll love me. Maybe this time he'll pay attention to me. Or maybe he never will. Maybe I need to stop hoping and longing for a love I'll never have. Soon after Levi is weaned, I find small moments of solitude. One of the sheep pastures is quiet in the early morning hours. Oh, Lord, I cry, you see me. You know me. You've seen my misery through these years. Why are you so far off? Why won't you give me the love I long for? I lean back against a large rock and weep. I have never felt so alone. And yet I know God has seen me. He has seen my tears. He has heard my prayers. And he's given me three precious gifts I could never have imagined. If it weren't for my boys, I think I would have gone mad. Their tight hugs and chubby fingers soften the sting of rejection. Once again I'm pregnant. But this time I won't look to Jacob for love. It isn't there. It never will be. Despite my broken dreams, I know the Lord has given me his love. This time I will praise the Lord. I call him Judah. Rachel, once my dearest friend, is now my rival. Though she has what I have desperately longed for, Jacob's heart, I have what she desperately wants. Children. She is wild with jealousy and can't tolerate the idea that I have given Jacob four sons. I hear her weeping, taking her frustration out on Jacob. Give me children or I'll die. He responds with defiant anger. Am I in the place of God who has kept you from having children? Then the competition begins. Rachel offers her servant as a surrogate. I do the same. Between our servants, four more sons are born. It has been months, maybe years, since Rachel and I have shared a meaningful conversation. She tends to her things and I keep to mine. But today, as Reuben brings in the mandrakes he gathered, Rachel approaches us. Please give me some of your son's mandrakes, she requests, as though everything between us is fine. I'm curious. How dare she ask for mandrakes? We all know they're a fertility fruit. She may as well rub it in my face that Jacob is sleeping with her. It's been months since I've been invited to his tent. Wasn't it enough that you took away my husband, I choke out? Will you take my son's mandrakes too? Fine, she replies. Jacob can sleep with you tonight in return for them. The time is ripe for me to conceive, and so I agree. When Jacob comes in from the field, I approach him. We're beyond pleasantries, he and I. You must sleep with me tonight, I inform him. I've hired you with my son's mandrakes. The arrangement is transactional. He comes to me because he must. We don't pretend it's anything more. I conceive again. Isakar, then Zebulin, and later a daughter, Dinah. As my family grows, exhaustion sets in. On a sultry summer afternoon, while everyone is otherwise occupied, I wander out into the field. I'm so tired of trying to be enough, of feeling invisible in my own home, of competing for a man's affection whose heart was never mine to win. Before I know it, I'm on the ground, hands grabbing fistfuls of dirt. I cry for the girl who yearned to find love in the arms of a husband. I cry for the woman who gave her body again and again, longing for it to be enough. And I cry for the truth I can't seem to escape. Jacob will never love me. In the midst of my brokenness, the voice of the Lord breaks through. He whispers to my heart, Leah, I know you. I see you. I hear you and I love you. In that knowing, I find something I never expected. Peace. Not because Jacob has changed toward me, not because Rachel and I have made peace. Not because I have the life I want. But because I know that I know that I know that God is for me. I'm not unloved. I'm not unseen. I'm not forsaken. I may never be the one Jacob wants. His heart will never be mine. But maybe, just maybe God can take my tattered heart and stitch it back together with his love. Maybe this time he will be enough. As I mentioned, you can find Leah's story in Genesis 29 and 30. I would encourage you to open the scriptures and dig in for yourself. God will show you so many beautiful things about who he is and about who you are. Genesis 29, 31 says in the NIV, when the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive. But Rachel remained childless. You know, the Hebrew word is not so kind as unloved or not loved. The word is actually to hate, detest, or be hostile to. This word implies rejection, not just emotionally, but in words and in actions. Now, what I find so fascinating about Leah's story is it tells us the names of her sons and not just their names, but the meanings and the commentary behind why she named her boys what she did. In the Old Testament, when people gave names, those names dripped with meaning and they signified many things. According to the Torah.com, it was widely believed that the name of a thing reflected its essence and very being. In other words, in some sense, the act of naming something meant creating it. Also, ancient authors would give characters names that reflected their perception of their character or their role in the story. So listen to how Leah is naming her children. This is Genesis 29, 32. So Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, The Lord has noticed my misery, and now my husband will love me. Interestingly, Reuben sounds like the Hebrew word for he has seen my misery. Okay, let's go back to Genesis verse 33 says, She soon became pregnant again and gave birth to another son. She named him Simeon. Simeon probably means one who hears. For she said, The Lord heard that I was unloved or hated and has given me another son. Verse 34, then she became pregnant a third time and gave birth to another son. He was named Levi, for she said, Surely this time my husband will feel affection for me, since I have given him three sons. Levi sounds like the Hebrew word for being attached to or feeling affection for. And then in verse 35, once again Leah became pregnant and gave birth to another son. She named him Judah, for she said, This time I will praise the Lord. And then she stopped bearing children. Judah sounds like the Hebrew word for praise. So just think about the fact that every time Leah gave birth to a son, she was naming their role in the story, or maybe even hoping to bring about what their name signified. Like God sees, God hears, my husband will love me, my husband will become attached to me, right? Matthew 12, 34 tells us that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. And when we look at Leah's words, when we read her words, when we hear her naming her children, we can almost see the ache in her heart, right? Maybe this time Jacob will love me. Maybe this time he'll pay attention to me. But I want to ask us a question because it's all fine and good to talk about Leah and her story, but we've got to bring this home. And what I want to ask you to think about is what is your maybe this time? Is it maybe this time the guy I'm dating will work out and he won't be a jerk? Is it maybe this time the pregnancy test will be positive? Maybe this time the doctor will give me a favorable report. Maybe this time we won't have to move to another city for my husband's job. Maybe this time my child and I will have a good connection and a great conversation. We all have our maybe this times. I remember one time being in a season of ministry when pain seemed like a constant companion and peace seemed so far out of reach. All I ever wanted was to live in one place and put down deep roots and watch my children grow up. And yet, time after time, after what never felt like long enough, our family uprooted and moved. I remember one morning we were visiting yet another church and I was blow drying my hair under the fluorescent hotel bathroom lights. And as I was blowing my hair, I remember I heard myself saying, maybe this time. And in that moment, I realized I had misplaced my hope. We live in a world of disappointment because we live after the fall. But what I noticed about Leah is that there came a point in her story where she said, This time I will praise the Lord. She realized that God saw her, that God heard her. Jacob didn't change, Rachel didn't disappear, her marriage was still painful, but she knew that she knew that she knew that God saw her and heard her. And she said, This time I will praise the Lord. And like ours, her story goes up and down and back and forth. It wasn't this linear path of like, okay, Leah arrived and we need to get to that point. But what I do want to say is we can choose to praise God, even when we don't get the favorable doctor's report, even when the fertility test is negative or other prayers that we have are going unanswered. We can choose to praise the Lord. In my Bible study, Grace, I talk about how praise is a powerful weapon. It's a weapon against our enemy, but it's also a weapon that we can use to fight for our own good and for God's glory. In Psalm 103, the psalmist tells himself over and over to bless the Lord. And that just means to praise the Lord. And I'm gonna read just a small paragraph from that study. Sometimes it's easy for us to bless the Lord. Sometimes praise overflows in our hearts and spills out our mouths in words or songs. But often praise and blessing are hard won, and we need to counsel ourselves as the psalmist does. Our fears keep us apprehensive, our disappointments keep us silent, our busyness keeps us distracted, and our anxiety keeps us occupied with worry. This is when we need to praise the Lord the most. In this unnatural act of obedience and surrender, we wage war with a powerful weapon, praise. Sometimes the cloud lifts and sometimes it lingers. Our goal is not to feel better, but to give honor and glory to a good and gracious God who sits with us in our struggle, who is near to the brokenhearted, and who will in his time lift us out of the pit. Blessing the Lord isn't reserved only for church services, brilliant sunsets, and sweet moments of victory. It's also for the walk through the valley of the shadow of death. It's for the times when our sheets are wet with tears and life feels heavy and oppressive. In those moments, praise is a subversive act that puts a pinhole in the darkness, which will eventually give way to full-blown sun, even if we can't see it yet. Leah spent so many years wishing for the love of Jacob, which was, I will add, a legitimate desire. So many of the things we're longing for, the desires of our hearts, those are legitimate desires. And yet sometimes we don't get them. And she didn't get that desire. Now, our circumstances might be completely different from Leah's. I think of Leah the morning after she was married to Jacob, and he's saying, You're not the one I want, not you. And there are so many women who hear that. Probably not the day after the wedding, but maybe months or years later, maybe decades later, their husband, by the by his words or his actions, says, You're not the one I want anymore. And I want to say to you, listener, if that's been your experience, that God sees, he knows, he hears, and he is pursuing your heart with steadfast love and faithfulness. God will never say to you, you're not the one I want. As a matter of fact, he's saying the opposite. He's running toward you, he's pursuing you with his steadfast, his Hesed love. And it's when we turn to that love, when we acknowledge, when we look it right in the face, that's when we can say, This time, I will praise the Lord. Despite the pain, despite the disappointment. Next week, we're gonna dig into Psalm 63.3, where um the psalmist says, Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. That psalm is so beautiful, but I don't want to get into it this week. I want to just tell you that it's coming. Um, and we're gonna talk about just the beauty of expecting and accepting God's steadfast love. And yes, it's better than anything this life offers us. It's better than a child or a husband or a happy marriage or a beautiful house. It's better. And even when we don't get those other longings of our heart, we can say this time, I will praise the Lord. We can say, your love is better than life itself. There's a few other things about Leah's story that I would love to share with you because I just find them so fascinating. We were talking about Leah and the names of her sons, but what's so interesting is that Leah's name means weary. And oh my goodness, if anyone was weary, I think of her, first of all, taking care of a house full of boys, but then second of all, just the emotional toll that that marriage, that situation must have taken on her. And this is not a theological treatise on, you know, sister wives. That is not something God approved. Just side note, scripture is not like these stories in the Bible are not prescriptive, they are descriptive. God does not set his stamp of approval on, hey, you should have two wives. It's okay. No, he's just telling us what happened, not his best way, and not what he approved of. But anyway, when I think about Leah and her name, that means weary. I just think of what how that must have been lived out in her life. The weariness of soul, the weariness of body, of mind, of heart. And I think some of us can relate to that weariness in a couple different ways. One way could be as we pursue the things that we think are going to make our hearts satisfied. You know, we're we're pursuing a relationship, we're pursuing good things, you know, a satisfying marriage, a healthy marriage, a good relationship with our children, a healthy body. These are good and right pursuits. But when we place our hope in them and we say, I will not be satisfied unless I get this thing, that's where the weariness sets in. Instead of living with open hands and open hearts and saying, God, this is my longing. You know the longing of my heart, and yet I trust you. I trust you with what you place into my hands, whether or not it be the answer to this prayer. I think another thing that makes us so weary, and it's something we see in the story between Leah and Rachel is this jealousy, this absolute rivalry that takes place between them, right? You've got Leah who is married to Jacob. All she wants is Jacob's love. And then you've got Rachel, who's married to Jacob, and all she wants is children. So these sisters want so desperately what the other one has. Man, that is so relatable, especially when it comes to things like social media, the the world that we live in, maybe, maybe family comparisons. Um, you know, I have made some really failed attempts to engage in social media platforms such as Instagram, which I have unaffectionately dubbed Insta envy. I would, I, I've tried, guys. I've tried to set up social media accounts. And after just a few days, I find myself believing lies like everyone else on this planet is more talented, more beautiful, and having more fun than me. I had to speak the truths that were getting stifled by the endless scroll. I love this verse in Luke 12, 15, where Jesus is speaking and he says, take care and be on your guard against covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of one's possessions. And I would even add to that, or in one's sense of style, or picture perfect family, or tidy house, or business success, or number of followers or likes, or anything else that the world holds up and says, this is what's so important, this is what you need, this is what gives your life meaning. And what I have noticed is that for me personally, it's just an unhealthy place. For me, I think that contentment is so elusive when we're comparing ourselves. And I just think it's so easy to compare when we're on social media. So that's a soapbox. I know you hear me getting on it often. I'm gonna get off of that, but I'm gonna go back to Leah and Rachel and the comparison. They didn't have social media, and yet there was this jealousy, there was this rivalry between them. One of the things that we have to understand is that we don't know people's stories. We don't know what's behind their photos, we don't know what's behind the things going on in their lives, the little tiny portions that we see, we don't know. And so when you see somebody and you maybe are tempted to feel jealous of that person, pray for her. Give yourself grace to know that God sees your story and he sees her story, the whole thing. Not just the highlight reels. Oh my goodness, I totally almost forgot. The most important thing about Leah is that she's the one that God chose to carry on the line of Jesus. Right? So you've got Jacob, who is one of the patriarchs of the nation of Israel, married to Rachel and Leah. And though Jacob rejected Leah, God chose her. She's the one who bore Judah, who is going to carry on the line of Jesus. And so even though she's not one of the five women named in the line of Jesus in Matthew, she's one of the women in the line of Jesus. So what an incredible testimony that is. That God chooses those that the world rejects. The world said, Not you. Jacob said, Not you. You're not the one I want. And God said, Oh, you. You're the one I want. You're the one who's gonna carry on the line that my son is going to come through. What a beautiful testament to how God takes this world system and turns it on its head. And he says, This is not this does not define you. You're not defined by the people who reject you. You're defined by me and I accept you. Not only do I accept you, I'm grafting you into my family tree. What an incredible, incredible story. So if you enjoy the stories of women like Leah, like Hagar, and others who are going to be in my upcoming study scene, which by the way, I'm working on, but it's gonna be a it's gonna be a hot minute before this study comes out. So I would encourage you to get graced. Graced is the first study I wrote, and that is six women in scripture that got rescued, redeemed, and restored from sexual brokenness. And before you say that's not my story, I want to remind you that that study covers things like labels that we wear, forgiveness, lament, all these kinds of things that we need to understand whether or not sexual brokenness is our story. And FYI, if it's not yours, it's the story of someone you know, someone who's very close to you because it's the story of one and three women. So if you haven't gotten graced yet, there is a link for that in the show notes. Thanks for hanging out with me today on Beauty in the Brokenness. To find anything I mentioned on the episode, go to Teresa Whiting.com slash listen, which is where you can find all the show notes. And friend, if you enjoy this podcast and you have not yet left a five-star rating and review, would you do that right now? It literally will take you like a minute, and it would mean the world to me, and it also would be a way for you to partner with me in spreading word about this podcast. You can leave a review like this one by Lori Ann Wood. Teresa is not only wise and spirit-led, but her tone and character make you feel like you're talking to a lifelong friend. She can mine gems out of any conversation, but also leaves the listener with a better understanding of the subject matter and other people. It is an act of self-care to subscribe to this podcast. Lori Ann, thank you, thank you for that kind review. And friend, would you take a minute to leave a simple short review and a five-star rating? I would appreciate that so much. In closing, I want to leave you with this prayer from number six, 24 to 26. The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.