Seen: Connecting with God & Others When You Feel Invisible (SEEN SERIES)

Do you ever feel invisible or overlooked? In this episode, we explore biblical stories of women who felt unseen and discover how God actively pursues those society forgets. Teresa introduces her Seen series and unpacks how you can connect with both God and others in a digital, distracted world.

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Upcoming Events
Healing Power of Lament Workshop
Graced Women's Gathering
"The Women" Conference
Hope Restored Trauma Intensive

Chapters

• 0:00 Introducing the Scene Series
• 2:14 The Modern Loneliness Epidemic
• 6:04 Digital Orphans: Children in a Screen Age
• 8:44 Loneliness Across Life Stages
• 13:32 Women in Scripture Who Felt Unseen
• 20:11 Your Story Matters: Finding Purpose
• 26:01 Closing Letter and Community Invitation

Transcript

Teresa Whiting: 0:00

Well, we're still coming off of our podcast break and we are starting this season with a brand new series that I'm calling the Scene Series, and I'm going to tell you a little bit today about why that series is so important to me and why I think it's going to be really meaningful to you. Hi, friend, if you've ever wondered how God's Word connects with the messy, broken parts of your story, you're in the right place. Welcome to Beauty in the Brokenness, where we have honest conversations about the Bible, our real-life struggles and the hope God brings for healing. I'm your host, teresa Whiting, an author, bible teacher and trauma-informed life coach, but mostly a friend and fellow struggler. No matter who you are or where you've been, I'm inviting you to encounter the God of rescue, redemption and restoration, the God who you know. We see that from babies, from the moment they come out of the womb. They're seeking attention, they're seeking eye contact, they're seeking connection. And yet I have talked to so many women who feel like, talked to so many women who feel like you know what. Nobody would notice if I disappeared. My work is meaningless. What I'm doing is completely unimportant Women that feel invisible in their homes, in their churches and even in their communities. This series is for every woman who feels as though she is invisible or unknown. And guys, if you're listening in, you are welcome here too. I hope that this series will let you know that you are not alone and it will help you forge a pathway to healing and connection. You know, when we talk about this feeling of being unseen and there and there's a host of words we could use it could be.

Teresa Whiting: 2:06

We could talk about feeling overlooked or lonely or isolated, and there's a lot of reasons for that. First of all, and the really obvious one, is the screens in our lives. I mean computers have taken over the world. I don't mean to be an alarmist, but if you look around, all of us are constantly staring at a screen, whether it's our phone, our computer, our tablet. We're missing the eye contact that we were made for, that human connection. A lot of people spend their time connecting online and in ways that is wonderful, and I am so thankful for the ways that we can establish connection online, that we can do this podcast online, that we can, you know, have Zoom meetings and online groups, but we were made for human connection, for eye-to-eye contact, for human touch.

Teresa Whiting: 3:01

Another reason, I think that so many people feel alone and isolated is comparison. It's that feeling that we've always had of I'm not enough. But now we can look around and see what everybody else in the whole world is doing and then we're like, oh, I was right, I'm not enough, I'm not doing enough, I'm not pretty enough, my house isn't decorated enough, whatever you name it, that feeling of not enough. If it wasn't a problem for you before, it is now, because everybody else's accomplishments are in your face 24, seven and we can end up feeling like I have nothing to offer. Who am I?

Teresa Whiting: 3:46

I think another reason we feel unseen is because of the distractions. I mean so many of us are running around in a million directions. We have our work, our families, our church activities, our kids, our sports, and so even though we have so many luxuries like you know, we've got washing machines and dishwashers and all of these things to make life easier life just doesn't seem simpler, it seems more complicated, it seems more complex and our attention is going in a million directions, and so we feel frazzled and scattered and torn. And guess what? The word for that is actually anxiety. Like when you read the word anxiety in scripture, it means pulled in a million directions, and the word peace means wholeness, all together, and so I think part of the reason we feel this ache and this loneliness is not just because we're distracted, but because everybody around us is distracted and we're missing the human connection that we so desperately long for and the God connection.

Teresa Whiting: 4:57

In scripture, you see Jesus, over and over, reaching out to people in these face-to-face interactions. You see the God of heaven coming down and meeting with Moses face-to-face interactions. You see the God of heaven coming down and meeting with Moses face-to-face. You see David getting alone to pray, to worship. We see people all throughout scripture connecting with God on a very deep personal level, and that's not something that we do typically. It's not a part of the rhythm of many people's lives, and so you know there's a lot of reasons that we feel unknown, unseen and invisible, and this isn't just about one age group or demographic. The world is a lonely place for so many people. I mean, think about this Infants and toddlers are born into a different kind of world that you and I were born into.

Teresa Whiting: 5:51

They're born into a world where, instead of their parents looking at them when they're born, their parents are behind a screen, they're videotaping. They're taking pictures Like, no, just hold that baby, just look into that baby's eyes. Toddlers are not getting the attention that they desperately need, and you know what? We don't need to cite a scientific study. Just go to a playground, a park, an airport, a mall, anywhere you go, you will see parents that are not making eye contact with their kids. They're behind a screen, and there's a term for this. These babies are called digital orphans, and it's not just because we have screens, but I do think that that is a problem from the youngest ages, where children are feeling this ache, this longing to connect, and they're not getting it. Are feeling this ache, this longing to connect, and they're not getting it.

Teresa Whiting: 6:46

When it comes to children and teens, jonathan Haidt has written a book called the Anxious Generation, and in it he says that children born after 1995 became the anxious generation because smartphones and social media have basically rewired childhood and this has shifted the way children grow up. You know, when I was a kid, and when many of you were children, we would go outside, we would play with our friends, we would meet our neighbors. Pate says the mass migration of childhood into the virtual world has disrupted social and neurological development. I've talked to children and young adults and teens who feel like they missed out on their childhood in so many ways, like they don't know how to play, they don't know how to interact with other humans or adults, and this makes me so sad and I think that there is an awareness in our culture and there's a pushback to this and I am so thankful that you know it's being spoken about, it's being written about and, believe me, I've got plenty of books I can recommend to you. But I will put the Anxious Generation in the show notes.

Teresa Whiting: 8:00

But then you know, you go on to the moms and the young adults and the young single women, each of them with their own kinds of struggles. There are so many young moms who feel alone and isolated. They're doing those mundane tasks of motherhood and they're home alone all day raising littles, feeling like nobody sees what I'm doing and nobody knows, like nobody sees what I'm doing and nobody knows. Or I think about the single women that live alone and are struggling to even find community. Recently I was talking with another empty nest mom who feels like there's not even a place for me at my church. I'm not one of the young marrieds, I'm not in the youth group. I'm not in the retiree group, where they've got you know all the activities, but we're in this awkward in-between stage where we're trying to rediscover who we are. Many women are lonely in their marriage after the kids are gone, and so there's even in this stage of life that I'm in, you know, as a recent empty nester there can be a sense of loneliness. And then the elderly, and maybe most of all, they feel just kind of put on a shelf, neglected and alone. And so that, my friends, is why I am doing the scene series.

Teresa Whiting: 9:21

But it's not just a podcast. I'm actually writing a Bible study on this very topic, because when we come to the Bible, we see that this feeling is not new to women in the 21st century. It's been a problem for generation after generation, not just mine and not just yours. We can easily look at our lives and be like how do you even be a human in a world that is so computerized and automated and filled with artificial intelligence? Well, you know what? Even though we have some of these challenges, this idea of feeling unseen and unknown has always been an issue. So I'm going to tell you a little bit about how this series is going to work. It's very similar to the Graced series, which is how I started this podcast, and if you haven't listened to the Graced series, that's a great place to start. So if you're new around here, you may want to go back and listen to the Graced series.

Teresa Whiting: 11:57

So over the next several months, what we're going to do is we're going to meet women in scripture. We're going to look at their stories. We're going to try to crawl into their skin. What I love to do is I love to kind of tell these personal narratives, maybe from the perspective of some of these women. Then we're going to read the Psalms. The Psalms are always a source of hope and strength and comfort. Then we're going to have conversations with people in real life who are going to share their insight, their experience, their expertise on the topic that maybe this particular woman had struggled with. So I'm so excited about the women that we're going to discuss from scripture.

Teresa Whiting: 12:40

These are women who were often overlooked and undervalued Hagar, leah, tamar, elizabeth, the bleeding woman and the hunched woman. Their stories reveal the heart of a God who passionately pursues those that the world rejects, overlooks or discards. Their stories remind us that we are never beyond God's notice. He sees, he knows and he calls us by name. We're going to start the series with Hagar. She shows us that even when the people in our lives, those who are closest to us, reject us, abandon us, turn their backs on us, god comes looking for us, he pursues us, he seeks us out and he calls us by name.

Teresa Whiting: 13:30

Then we're going to talk about Leah. Oh, leah has such a beautiful and tragic story. She was rejected by her husband in favor of another woman who happened to be her sister, and she lived her entire married life with that heartache. Her mantra was maybe this time, like maybe this time, my husband will love me. Maybe this time he'll pay attention to me. And I think how many of us have our own version of this kind of maybe this time he'll pay attention to me. And I think how many of us have our own version of this kind of maybe this time. Maybe this time it'll work out, maybe this time, whatever you fill in the blank, I know that you have one. And yet Leah learned in the midst of her heartache to say this time I will praise the Lord. She was able to figure out that God saw and knew and heard her in her pain and to praise him in the midst of it.

Teresa Whiting: 14:26

Then we're going to talk about Tamar. Now, this is a different Tamar than the one we discussed in Grace. This is a woman who was raped and then silenced, and her story reassures us that even in the absence of justice, god sees, he hears and he calls victims out of silence into courageous expressions of grief. Tamar models for us biblical lament. We are going to talk about the power of speaking our pain out loud and the healing that it brings. I can't wait to talk about Tamar and while we're on the topic of lament, I just wanted to remind you that we have another Healing Power of Lament workshop coming up on this Saturday, september 13th. So if you are hearing this episode and you're like you know there is something in my life that I am grieving or that I need help grieving this would be a perfect opportunity for you to sign up. I'll have the link in the show notes.

Teresa Whiting: 15:28

Then we're going to talk about Elizabeth, who endured years of unanswered prayers about her infertility and because of that, in her culture she lived with public disgrace and shame. She didn't meet the expectations of what a woman should be, and yet God lifts her from that he honors her, he gives her this beautiful role in the story of redemption. Then we're going to meet the bleeding woman. And you guys, her story is so amazing. It might be one of my favorites, I don't know, it's hard to have a favorite, but this is a woman who lived as an outcast from society. Her illness kept her from interacting in her world and even in her faith community. She lived hidden and isolated, and yet she courageously approaches Jesus. And when he heals her he doesn't just let it be that he healed her physical body, he healed her heart and her soul. Oh, I can't wait for that episode.

Teresa Whiting: 16:33

And then we're going to talk about the hunched woman. And you're like what, who, who's that? Exactly, this is a woman who, for all intents and purposes, would have been unseen and unknown to her dying day, except that in Luke 13, jesus comes into her life and he touches her and he sets her free from 18 years of spiritual oppression. Her story is one that I didn't even know. I had a friend recommend to me. Oh, why don't you do the hunched woman? I'm like who, who's that? I never heard of this woman. And what a beautiful story, what a beautiful model of the way Jesus comes and pursues those that we don't even know exist.

Teresa Whiting: 17:19

I can't wait for you to see God's heart on display as he interacts with these women, and so my prayer for you as we go through this series is that you will not feel so alone in your own struggles that you will know that others feel the way you are. I want to normalize this experience of loneliness. According to statistics, 31% of women struggle with feelings of loneliness. I want you to experience God knowing you and seeing you, and I want to help you find ways to connect with others in person, at church, over lunch, at a park, with others in person, at church, over lunch, at a park. I want to inspire you to look people in the eye, to see and to allow yourself to be seen. Even here at Beauty and the Brokenness, I'm creating a sub-stack community so that we can connect with one another, but I'll talk more about that at the end of the episode.

Teresa Whiting: 18:17

I know that there's women listening right now who feel like you know, I don't really care. I want to be invisible, I want to be unseen, but I want to encourage you and let you know that you are discounting the fact that you have something to offer? Yes, you do. If you're arguing with me going. No, teresa, you don't know me. I have nothing to offer. Let me tell you this no one else has your life experience, your voice, your heart, your insight.

Teresa Whiting: 18:51

We talk about people having a God-sized hole in their heart that only God can fill, but I really believe that he uses you and I to fill those holes in one another. We are made to be community creatures. We are not meant to live in isolation. Let me ask you something have you walked through the betrayal of your spouse? Because you know what?

Teresa Whiting: 19:16

There's a woman right now who's discovering that her husband had an affair, and she doesn't even know if she's going to make it till tomorrow. She doesn't know how to breathe anymore, and you know what. You don't have to be a counselor. You don't have to have a five-step plan for healing. She just needs someone to tell her that she's going to survive, that she's not alone and that the way she feels insane is normal, and you know what it's like. She just needs someone to hold her hand and say I'm so sorry.

Teresa Whiting: 19:50

Did you grow up with an abusive parent? Because there are countless people who are walking in your shoes and they need someone to say to them I see you, you're not alone, I'll walk with you. How about this? Are you a mom who struggled with anger and yelling at your kids, hand raised? I promise you. There are young moms right now who go to bed at night feeling defeated and guilty and they just need a friend. They need someone to walk with them through this lonely journey of motherhood. They need someone to share things with, to bounce ideas off of, to just say, hey, I see you and it's okay, and maybe we can try this and not to fix you and not to try to give you all the answers. And it doesn't even have to be big things like someone whose husband is having an affair or someone who's screaming at their kids. It can just be the everyday moments of life to know that you are seen, you are loved, you are valued, you are known.

Teresa Whiting: 21:00

I want to tell you this that there is someone in this world that has a wound that you can help them heal. So come out of hiding and allow yourself to be a part of a community where healing takes place. And you know what? When you reach out and you extend yourself to provide grace and hope and healing for others. So the beautiful thing is, god made us this way. That helps you heal as well. It's this beautiful way that God created us that when we help others, we're helping ourselves at the same time.

Teresa Whiting: 21:42

I want to close this episode by reading a letter to you that I wrote. It comes out of the introduction of my new Bible study scene. Now, if you're looking for that study, it isn't out yet, but I'm working on it. Dear friend, I'm honored that you've picked up this study. I wrote it for every woman who has ever felt overlooked, silenced, dismissed or discarded. For you who have been wounded by those who should have protected you, abandoned by those who should have stood by you, or rejected by those who should have welcomed you. For anyone who doesn't fit the mold society, the church or even your family expects of you.

Teresa Whiting: 22:23

I want you to know God sees you, knows you and is inviting you into a deeper relationship with himself. We've all felt the sting of being the last one picked or the one left unchosen, but the beautiful truth woven through all scripture is that, since before time began, god has known you and from the moment he began forming you in his mother's womb, his eyes and His heart have been fixed on you. This invitation isn't reserved for the popular or powerful. It's not just for the esteemed and the elite. The God of all creation stoops to see those the world overlooks the ostracized, imprisoned, silenced and suffering. He seeks you out. He searches for every lonely heart and calls you by name. If you've lived in the shadows or fled to your own wilderness, like Hagar, god has come looking for you. No despair is too deep, no wilderness too vast. He has heard your prayers, seen your tears and sought you out. He has ridden on the clouds, parted the waters and come down. His gaze has been fixed on you from eternity past. There is no place in heaven above or on earth beneath where you can escape his notice. Long before you were even aware of him, he knew you. He is the God who sees you, the one who comes looking for you, who chases you down with steadfast love and faithfulness. We don't even have to wave our arms or cry out Daddy, look at me. God is already looking at you with tenderness and compassion. His eyes have been fixed on you all along.

Teresa Whiting: 24:13

Now, before I sign off, I want to tell you a little bit about the community I'm creating over on Substack. So basically, substack is just a way for us to interact with one another. I'm over here talking all the time. I want to hear from you, so listen to this. This is important. If you're already on my email list, you don't need to do anything. You're already a part of my Substack community. Isn't that fabulous? You don't need to do anything at all. You will still get my monthly emails filled with all the good stuff, just like you always have. You'll still get weekly podcast updates, and one of the things I'm doing this year that's new is I'm going to have some reflection questions for you to consider that are related to the episode, something for you to think about and consider in your own life, but also to invite you into the conversation On Substack. You will have an opportunity to leave comments and connect with other subscribers.

Teresa Whiting: 25:14

So that's my hope in moving to Substack. It's a way for me to still give you the same content I always have, but for us to create a little bit more of a back and forth, of a community where you can respond to questions, you can respond to episodes and you can get to know one another a little bit. I would love to see that happen. One of my passions is to open up conversations, so publishing my newsletter on Substack is just a way for us to do that. So, again, if you're already subscribed, you don't need to do anything, but you can hop over there and leave a comment. You don't need to do anything, but you can hop over there and leave a comment Now. If you're not subscribed, you can subscribe right now by clicking the link in the show notes.

Teresa Whiting: 25:56

Now one last thing when it comes to Substack this is important as well. It has an option for you to become a paid subscriber. Now, I hope you know me by now that I am not in this for the money. If I were, I would have quit a long time ago. Subscribing to Beauty and the Brokenness is simply a way for you to show your support for this work. Of course, there is no pressure to become a paid subscriber. It's just an option that I'm putting out there for those of you who want to partner with me in spreading a message of hope and healing.

Teresa Whiting: 26:32

I love you guys. I appreciate you so much. I am so thankful for you, who are listening, who are watching on YouTube, and for you, who are my subscribers. You're the reason I'm here, the reason I'm doing what I do, so thanks for hanging out with me today on Beauty and the Brokenness. To find anything I mentioned on the episode, go to TeresaWhitingcom slash listen, which is where you can find all the show notes. I pray that you have eyes to see the beautiful, redemptive work of Jesus in the midst of your broken life. In closing, I want to leave you with this prayer from Numbers 6, 24 to 26. The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.